A husband and wife, both getting on in years, are in bed one morning.

He takes her hand, and she says, "Don't touch me."

He says, "Why not?"

She answers, " Because I'm dead."

Husband says, "What are you talking about?  We're lying here talking to one another."

The wife says, "No, I'm definitely dead."

Her husband insists, "You're not dead.  What makes you think you're dead?"

His wife answers, "I know I'm dead because I woke up this morning, and nothing hurts."