When you get angry it's because you're ill-tempered...
It just happens that my nerves are bothering me.

When you don't like someone it's because you're prejudiced...
I just happen to be a good judge of human nature.

When you compliment people it's because you use flattery to get your way...
I only encourage people.

When you take a long time to do a job it's because you're unbearable slow and pokey...
I take a long time because I believe in quality workmanship.

When you spend your paycheck in 24 hours, it's because you're a spendthrift...
When I do, it's because I'm generous.

When you stay in bed until 11 A.M., it's because you're a lazy good-for-nothing...
When I stay in bed a little longer, it's because I'm totally exhausted.