"OLD " IS WHEN . Your friends compliment you on  your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

"OLD" IS WHEN .. You are cautioned to slow down  by the doctor instead of by the police.

"OLD" IS WHEN .. "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.

"OLD" IS WHEN ... An "all nighter" means not getting up to use the bathroom.

And "OLD" IS WHEN .. You are not sure these are jokes.