If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. -Catherine Aird

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. -Helen Hayes (at 73)

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows. -Janette Barber

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. -Lily Tomlin

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. -Laurie Kuslansky

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. - Erma Bombeck

Old age ain't no place for sissies. -Bette Davis

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. -Rhonda Hansome

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. -Jennifer Unlimited

Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. -Charlotte Whitton

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. -Caryn Leschen

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. -Jennifer Unlimited

When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss and they called ME slow! -Kathy Buckley

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb...and I'm also not blonde. -Dolly Parton

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. -Erica Jong

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. -Sue Grafton

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr

I think-therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.  Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man - if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -Gloria Steinem

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night. -Marie Corelli

If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck? -Linda Ellerbee

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. -Eleanor Roosevelt