Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from  such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.   Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never  have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.  Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux  rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the  time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff  about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open  all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act  of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still  be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs  of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe  decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with  toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter  how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier

Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it.