Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Wrinkles add character.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase .

You can open all of your own jars.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes

One color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter what how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.