* Yes = No.  
* No = Yes.  
* Maybe = No.  
* I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.  
* We need = I want.  
* It's your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now.  
* Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.  
* We need to talk = I need to complain.  
* Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.  
* I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron.  
* This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.  
* I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper.  
* I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.  
* Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.  
* How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate.  
* I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.  
* You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.  
* Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.