I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.  Haven't lost a pound.  Apparently, you have to show up.

If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I don't jog.  It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.