I don't do windows because I love birds and don't want one to run into them and hurt themselves.

I don't wax floors because I am terrified a guest will slip and hurt their self. I'll feel terrible and they may sue me.

I don't mind the dust bunnies because they are very good company and I have named most of them. They agree with everything I say.

I don't disturb cobwebs because I want every creature to have a home of their own.

I don't "Spring" clean because I love all the seasons and don't want them to get jealous.

I don't plant a garden because I don't want to get in God's way; He is an excellent designer.

I don't put things away because I will never be able to find them again.

I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.

I don't iron because I believe them when they say "permanent press".

I don't stress much on anything because "Type-A Personalities" die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ole lady!

"If you come to see me, come anytime. If you come to see my house, make an appointment."