Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby.

Somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, normal is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct.

Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring.

Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good"...

Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a mother.

Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first.

Somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books.

Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery;

Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten.

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back.

Somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married...

Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home

Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her.

Somebody isn't a mother.