Before going on vacation, I went to a tanning salon.

I was under the lights a bit long and the protective shades I wore left a big white circle around each eye.

Gazing at myself in the mirror the next day, I thought, "Man, I look like a clown." I had almost convinced myself that I was overreacting until I got in line at the grocery store.

I felt a tug at my shirt and looked down to see a toddler staring up at me.

He asked, "Are you giving out balloons?"