- Thursday, October 23, 2003
Being a Southener I just love this one ....
Bluenecks Are NORTHERNERS. By now I'm sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at their Northern cousins: YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF:
1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning, "to cook outside."
2. You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY spicy!
3. You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
4. For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to grits.
5. You have never, ever eaten okra, fried or boiled.
6. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
7. You have no idea what a polecat is.
8. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.
9. You don't have bangs.
10. You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.
11. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
12. Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
13. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.
14. You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the the head football coach salary. (What's wrong with you!?!)
15. You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. (Not to even mention duct tape!)
16. The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on ramp to the highway.
17. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
18. You call binoculars opera glasses.
19. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
20. You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.
21. You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e.Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice).
22. You don't have doilies, and you don't know how to make one.
23. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
24. You can do your laundry without quarters.
25. None of your fur coats are homemade.
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