Car Ads -- If the ad claims... It really means:

rough condition... too bad to lie about

parts car... beyond repair

immaculate... recently washed

engine quiet... if you use 90-weight oil

needs minor overhaul... needs engine

needs major overhaul... Phone the junkyard

burns no oil... (it all leaks out)

Drive it away... I live on a hill.

Drive it anywhere... (within 10 miles)

desirable classic... No one wants it.

rare classic... No one wanted it even when it was new.

stored 20 years... (in a farmer's field)

ran when stored... Won't start.