My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
She's 97 now & we don't know where she is!

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I don't exercise at all.
If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.