I'm so broke, I go to KFC and lick other peoples fingers.

I'm so broke me and my girlfriend got married for the rice.

I'm so broke, if a trip around the world cost a nickel, I wouldn't have enough to leave the couch!

I'm so broke that I just went into McDonald's and put a small fry on layaway.

If pickles were 10 cents a truckload I couldn't buy a wart off a cucumber!

I'm so broke, just to rub two nickels together, I'd have to borrow one.

We were so broke, that at Christmas, all we could exchange was glances.

I'm so broke, the bank asked for their calendar back.

I'm so broke, long distance companies don't even call me to switch!

If I stopped on a dime, I'd probably owe it to someone.

I ain't broke, but I'm severely bent.

Someone saw me kicking a can down the street, and when asked what I was doing I said, "Moving."

I'm so broke I can't afford to pay attention!

A guy walked into our house, stepped on a cigarette and my Mom yelled, "Who turned off the heat?"

I'm so broke that when someone saw my Mom walking down the street with one shoe, they said, "Hey, you lost a shoe." She said, "No, I found one."

We're so broke that if someone rings our doorbell I have to yell, "ding dong!" out the window.