Mis-spoken Newspaper Ads
- Sunday, December 29, 2002
Five-year-old teacher needed for preschool. Experience preferred.
Get rid of aunts: 'Kill-Em' does the job in 24 hours.
Saul's Auto Repair: Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
The Pump House, bodybuilders' heaven. Open house Monday; free coffee and donuts.
Do something special for your loved one this anniversary! Have your septic tank cleaned.
Smoked boneless man--$2.09 a pound.
For Rent: Four-bedroom hated apartment.
Tired of working for only $9.25 an hour? We offer full benefits and flexible hours. Starting pay anywhere from $7 to $9 per hour.
Wanted: Free furniture, bedding, kitchen table, color TV, etc.
For Sale: One used tombstone. Perfect for anyone named Herald Wade Miller.
Tickle Me Elmo for sale. Brand new, comes with 1981 Buick LeSabre: $2,555.
Butcher gloves for sale. One five-fingered glove and one two-finger. $18 for pair.
Debbie's Hair Salon: If we can't make you look good, you're UGLY!
Free dog. Eats anything, and is fond of children.
Free puppies. Half poodle, half real dog.
Free puppies: half poodle, half sneaky dog next door.
Wanted: Food-prep experience preferred. Must be willing to get hands dirty.
Washer, $200. Hardly used, great condition, owned by a dirty bachelor.
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