Reasons to Buy a New Car
- Monday, September 27, 2004
1. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.
2. Instead of an airbag, there's a whoopie cushion taped to your steering wheel.
3. You lose the stop-light challenge to a 14-year old on a moped.
4. 15-Minute Jiffy Lube lasts for only 3 days.
5. Thieves repeatedly break into your car just to take "The Club."
6. When you gas up, the attendant asks "Can I re-duct-tape that windshield for you?"
7. While waiting at stop light, people run up asking if anyone was hurt.
8. For the last five years, you've had to settle for making "vroom vroom" noises while sitting in the driveway.
9. Keep losing dates on left turns.
10 Your gas gauge measures in cubits.
11. Traffic reporters starting to refer to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.
12. Hasn't been the same since Henry Ford borrowed it.
Recently on Humor Lists
Have something to say about this article? Leave your comment via Facebook below!
Listen to Your Favorite Pastors
Add Crosswalk.com content to your siteBrowse available content