I clean house every other day. Today is the 'other' day!

So this isn't "Home Sweet Home"... Adjust!

Ring bell for Maid Service. If no answer, do it yourself!

If you write in the dust, please don't date it!

I would cook dinner but... I can't find the can opener!

My house was clean last week. Too bad you missed it!

A clean kitchen is the sign of a very wasted life.

I came. I saw. I decided to order take-out.

If you don't like my standards of cooking...lower your standards.

Apology. Although you'll find our house a mess, come in, sit down, converse. It doesn't always look like this. Some days it's even worse!

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is just delirious!

If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. (an Oreo & a chocolate chip)

Help keep this kitchen clean. Let's eat out!

My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines.

Husband and dog missing. $100 reward for dog.

Pardon the mess. Our maid and butler quit.