"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." -- Keppel Enderbery

"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Al Gore, VP

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton, President

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" -- Lee Iacocca

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are  doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." -- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it." -- A congressional candidate in Texas.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." -- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body" -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life" -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become Spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." -- Mariah Carey