You Know You're a Redneck If...
- Monday, April 05, 2004
1. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool Whip on the side.
2. If the biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.
3. If your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
4. If you thought the Unibomber was a wrestler.
5. If you've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
6. If you think a quarter horse is that ride in front of K-Mart.
7. If your neighbors think you're a detective because a Deputy always brings you home.
8. If a tornado hits your neighborhood and does a $100,000 dollars worth of improvement.
9. If you've ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
10. If you've ever asked the preacher, "Hows it hangin".
11. If you missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
12. If you think fast food is hitting a deer at 80 mph.
13. If somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth and you take them out to see what it is.
14. If breakfast consist of boiled eggs, can of Beenie Weenies & a couple salt'in crackers and a 6 pack of Pepsi, because you like the smell it creates after completing the digestive cycle.
15. If there are 13 dogs under the front porch and you have papers for one.
16. If a museum curator tries to buy 7 of the vehicles on blocks in your yard.
17. If your Momma knows how to make Road-kill stew.
18. If your truck has more colors than Jeff Gordons race car!
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