Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there.... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it."

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?