In my day, we didn't have no rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.

Back in the 1970s we didn't have the space shuttle to get all excited about. We had to settle for men walking on the crummy moon.

In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.

In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.

Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.

In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed, razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.