If the ad claims... It really means:

"rough condition"... too bad to lie about

"parts car"... beyond repair

"immaculate"... recently washed

"engine quiet"... if you use 90-weight oil

"needs minor overhaul"... needs engine

"needs major overhaul"... phone the junkyard

"burns no oil"... it all leaks out

"drive it away"... I live on a hill

"drive it anywhere"... within 10 miles

"desirable classic"... No one wants it.

"rare classic"... No one wanted it even when it was new.

"stored 20 years"... (in a farmer's field)

"ran when stored"... Won't start