I don't care how much you and your cat love each other, if you were one inch smaller than the sweet little kitty, he'd eat you in a heartbeat. - Tom Gard

I'm really glad the guy who invented the Ray Gun was named Ray. Being shot with a Fred gun just wouldn't sound as cool.. - Bob Neanover

I think that someone must have surveillance equipment set up in my living room, because every once in a while, someone on the TV will tell me what channel I'm watching. That really freaks me out, you know? - Pam Stewart

My doctor tells me I suffer from extreme hypochondria. He prescribed a strong placebo, but I don't think it's working. - Fred Marcum

"Choose your rut carefully; you'll be in it for the next ten miles." - Road sign in Upstate New York