Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
- Friday, July 30, 2004
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and he said unto the Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
BILL GATES: I have just released the Chicken Office 2004 XP Extra, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over a great period of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road and that was good enough for us.
NICCOLO MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road; it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
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