You wake up - face down on the pavement
You see a "60 minutes" news team waiting for you in your office
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city
Your twin sister forgets your birthday
Your Mother forgets your birthday
You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then you realize you don't have a waterbed
Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of "Hells Angels" on the freeway
Your Mother forgets your birthday
Your boss tells you to not bother taking off you coat
The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard
Your wife forgets your birthday
You wake up and your braces are locked together
You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife
Your ex-wife remembers your birthday
