From a Rice Krispies Joke Machine:

Why do tigers live in the jungle?
   They hate city traffic.

Where do polar bears vote?
   The North Poll.

What did the limestone say to the geologist?
   Stop taking me for granite.

What should you do if you can't see at night?
   Enroll in night school.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of shoes?
   In case he got a hole in one.

What did one wall say to the other?
   I'll meet you at the corner.

When is the moon the heaviest?
   When it is full.

How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
   Hold his nose.

What should you do every morning?
   Wake up.

Why do spiders spin webs?
   Because they can't knit.

What flowers are on your face?
   Two lips.

What's yellow and always points north?
   A magnetic banana.

What would you do if you smashed your toe?
   Call a toe truck.

How do you make a vanilla shake?
   Take it to a scary movie.

What's the difference between a bear and an ant?
   About 2,000 pounds.

What's better than a talking dog?
   A spelling bee.

What's the difference between a nickel and a dime?
   Five cents.

What looks like a horse and flies?
   A flying horse.

What kind of dog tells time?
   A watch dog.

What do you give a seasick elephant?
   Lots of room.