As a blunt object to fend off your pesky cousins with.

As a projectile to throw at the TV after Kathie Lee says, "Aren't they a wonderful band!" for the 25th time.

As a hood ornament.

As a disguise so your ugly Aunt Beatrice can't kiss you and say, "How much you've grown!"

As a football for the after-meal game.

One word... bowling!

As yet another object to drop from the top of the dorm to test the range of the splatter upon impact.

As a gift/bribe for a professor.

As a Christmas gift (avoid the holiday crowds this way!)

As a doorstop to keep your relatives out.

Makes a great doggie chew toy.

An unexplored cavern for the new Barbie.

Bury in the yard for future midnight snacks.

If you're flying home, take the carcass as a carry-on. See what it looks like in the X-ray machine. Better yet, put it in a pet carrier and asked the flight attendant for some chicken feed.

Wear as a helmet, declaring, "I'm TURKEYMAN!"

Place a speaker inside the bird, and from another room, amaze your guests with this talking foul!

Throw the turkey out the window yelling, "You're FREE! Fly! FLY!"

Two words: Turkey puppet.

Toss the carcass into a turkey farm to intimidate next year's stock.

Attach to a fishing pole, slowly drive around the neighborhood in the back of a pickup and see how many dogs follow you.

As in an old murder mystery, question all the dinner guests in an attempt to discover who killed the guest of honor.