As a blunt object to fend off your pesky cousins with.
As a projectile to throw at the TV after Kathie Lee says, "Aren't they a wonderful band!" for the 25th time.
As a hood ornament.
As a disguise so your ugly Aunt Beatrice can't kiss you and say, "How much you've grown!"
As a football for the after-meal game.
One word... bowling!
As yet another object to drop from the top of the dorm to test the range of the splatter upon impact.
As a gift/bribe for a professor.
As a Christmas gift (avoid the holiday crowds this way!)
As a doorstop to keep your relatives out.
Makes a great doggie chew toy.
An unexplored cavern for the new Barbie.
Bury in the yard for future midnight snacks.
If you're flying home, take the carcass as a carry-on. See what it looks like in the X-ray machine. Better yet, put it in a pet carrier and asked the flight attendant for some chicken feed.
Wear as a helmet, declaring, "I'm TURKEYMAN!"
Place a speaker inside the bird, and from another room, amaze your guests with this talking foul!
Throw the turkey out the window yelling, "You're FREE! Fly! FLY!"
Two words: Turkey puppet.
Toss the carcass into a turkey farm to intimidate next year's stock.
Attach to a fishing pole, slowly drive around the neighborhood in the back of a pickup and see how many dogs follow you.
As in an old murder mystery, question all the dinner guests in an attempt to discover who killed the guest of honor.
