The following are actual quotes from Texas politicians.

Texas Rep. Joe Salem speaking on an amendment requiring all revenues to go into the state treasury: "It just makes good sense to put all your eggs in one basket."

Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower: "Ain't nothin' in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos."

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis to a group of handicapped people in wheelchairs: "And now, will y'all stand and be recognized?"

A. C. Greene: "Dallas salutes a person who can buy a piece of art, but not a person who can create one."

Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower when told that Texas Governor Bill Clements had been studying Spanish: "Oh good. Now he'll be bi-ignorant."

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis defending himself against the charge that he would personally profit from a bill he had introduced: "I'd just make a little bit of money, I wouldn't make a whole lot."

Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower discussing President George Bush's policies: "If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drillin' rights on that man's head."

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis during a budget hearing: "I move we recess to go outside and throw up."

Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis: "There's a lot of uncertainty that's not clear in my mind."

Don Rottenberg: "There are still places where people think that the function of the media is to provide information."