Video projectors always work before the program begins.
The probability of the preacher tripping over the mike cord is greater on "Bring A Friend" Sunday than any other week.
The largest Bible Class will show up when the teacher feels his/her worst.
No matter how many bulletins you print, you'll always need one more.
A member living 15 miles away will be 15 minutes early; members living two blocks will be 15 minutes late.
The shorter the agenda, the longer the business meeting.
When you answer the Bible teacher's question right, nobody remembers; when you are wrong, nobody forgets.
The furnace only fails when the outside temperature is more than 20 degrees below zero.
