When water-skiing, never allow a feisty duck to hitch a ride on your skis.

Always stay at least five boat-lengths behind the whale in front of you.

While sinking to the bottom of a lake or ocean, screaming does not help.

Drowning can cause severe shortness of breath. And you don't even want to think about what it does to your complexion.

Always wear a life jacket in case you fall overboard.

Also, it's a good idea to take along something to read, in case you're swallowed by a whale. Most whales seem to enjoy Moby Dick.

Boating while intoxicated is not illegal in some states, but it's really stupid in all of them.