What's your Handicap?
- Tuesday, October 28, 2003
A businessman was attending a conference in Africa. He had a free day and
wanted to play a round of golf. He was directed to a golf course in the nearby jungle. After a short journey, he arrived at the course and asked the pro if he could to play.
"Sure," said the Pro, " But what's your handicap?"
Not wanting to admit that he had an 18 handicap, he decided to cut it a bit. "Well, it's 16," said the businessman, "But what's the relevance since I'll be playing alone."
"No, it's very important for us to know," said the pro who then called a caddy. "Go out with this gentleman," said the Pro, "his handicap is 16."
The businessman was very surprised at this constant reference to his handicap. The caddy picked up the businessman's bag and a large rifle; again the businessman was surprised but decided to ask no questions.
They arrived on the 1st hole, a par 4. "Please avoid those trees on the left," said the caddy. Needless to say, the businessman duck-hooked his ball into the trees. He found his ball and was about to punch it out when he heard the loud crack of the rifle and a large snake fell dead from a tree above his head. The caddy stood next to him with the rifle smoking in his hand. "That's the mamba, the most poisonous snake in all Africa; you're lucky I was here with you."
After taking a bogey on the hole, they moved to the 2nd, a par 5. "Avoid those bushes on the right," says the caddy. Of course, the businessman's ball went slicing away into the bushes. As he went to pick up his ball, he heard the loud crack of the caddy's rifle once more and a huge lion fell dead at his feet. "I've saved your life again," said the caddy. And so it went all day.
The 18th hole was a par 3 with a lake in front of the green. The businessman's ball came up just short of the green and rolled back to the edge of the water. To take a shot, he had to stand with one foot in the lake. As he was about to swing, a large crocodile emerged from the water and bit off much of his right leg. As he fell to the ground bleeding and in great pain, he saw the caddy with the rifle propped at his side, looking on unconcernedly.
"Why didn't you shoot it?" asked the man uncredulously.
"I'm sorry, sir," said the caddy, "this is the 17th handicap hole, you don't get a shot here."
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