Old world charm ... Room with no TV, radio or phone, and only 1 light.

Tropical .... Rainy.

Majestic setting ... Out in the swamp, at end of dirt road.

Options galore ... Nothing is included in the price.

Secluded hideaway .......Directions to locate unclear.

Some budget rooms .....Sorry, already occupied.

Explore on your own .....At your own expense.

Minutes From ???...........By helicopter

Romantic ...................... No Phone or alarm clock in room

Knowledgeable trip hosts ... They've flown in an airplane before.

No extra fees .............. No extras available.

Bird Watchers Paradise...... Your car's paint will never be the same

Nominal fee ................. Outrageous charge.

Standard ..................... Sub-standard.

Deluxe ........................ Barely Standard.

Superior accommodations... One complimentary chocolate, free shower cap.

All the amenities ......... Two chocolates, two shower caps and a extra roll of toilet tissue.

Just Like Home............. No Maid service.

Plush ................. Both top and bottom sheets, bed shakes.

Gentle breezes ........... In hurricane alley.

Light and airy .............. Window open...No air conditioning.

Picturesque ................ Theme park nearby.