You won't pull off the road just to look at an alligator.
You realize that the only reason for Georgia's existence is to provide extra billboard space for advertising Florida.
You understand the utter futility of exterminating cockroaches.
You understand the only escape from mosquitoes is death.
You wear a sweater when it gets below 70 degrees.
You don't even consider Miami a nice place to visit.
You can remember when there was no good reason to go to Orlando.
You don't yell "SHARK" when you see a group of porpoise playing in the surf.
Your definition of "waterfront property" doesn't include condominium apartments on man-made canals 20 miles from the ocean.
You laugh when Northerners say that Florida doesn't have a change of seasons, because you know the rates are much lower after Labor Day.