A fellow sees a job published on a building site which read:

"Handy man wanted - Apply within"

So he ambles inside and the following dialogue with the Site Manager takes place:
Manager: Can you drive a forklift?
Applicant: Nope

Manager: Can you lay brick?
Applicant: Nope

Manager: Can you do minor electrical work?
Applicant: Nope

Manager: Can you finish drywall?
Applicant: Uh, Nope

Manager: Have you done any plumbing?
Applicant: Hmmnn... Nope

Manager: So, what's handy about you, buddy?
Applicant: I only live 'bout 7 minutes up the road.