My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned
... couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so
...they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because
...it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that ...was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but
...I just couldn't cut it.

Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just
...didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I
...couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found
...I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I 
...didn't have any patients.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I
...just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I
...couldn't live on my net income.

Thought about becoming a witch, so I
...tried that for a spell.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool-maintenance company, but the work was
...just too draining.

I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I
...wasn't up to it.

So then I got a job in a fitness-center, but they said I
...wasn't fit for the job.

Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking and I
...was discharged.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was
...no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it
...was always the same old grind.