Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.

The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!

You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.

Friday you set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog.

Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.

A guest quotes a Biblical passage from "The Feeding of the 5000."

That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.

Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.

You consider gluttony your patriotic duty.

Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard & delete this.