Living for Today

My 4 ½-year-old daughter, Sara, just asked me the other day if I would give her money for college. I asked her to clarify if she meant spending money or if she wanted to know if daddy and I were putting money away for her education. She said she was interested in the latter. I assured her that we were, and that seemed to satisfy her curiosity. But now my curiosity was piqued. Where does my daughter come up with this stuff? She's not even in preschool yet and she wants to talk college.

I must admit that this tiny little question made my mind wander down the road about 14 or so years to the time when she's actually heading off. On this end, it seems like ages away. But I've been told a number of times, just recently, in fact, that it goes so fast ... to truly remember how much my kids love me right now, because they won't always act like they love me later. I do know that time goes fast - I cannot believe that it's been over five years since finding out that I was pregnant with Sara ... and now look, she's getting ready for preschool, gets dressed by herself, needs little help in hopping up into her booster carseat and buckling herself in, and is even pondering her higher education plans.

But I've been reminded (and warned) that this is just the beginning ... first days of school, bullies, dance lessons, questions that will knock me off my feet, waiting up into the night for her to come home, driving, dating, broken hearts ... basically letting go a little more each day until one day when she really does jump into her own car -- that she will have purchased after getting her own after school job (and a little help from mom and dad because of all those straight A's!) -- and drives into the sunset toward college and a future that does not hold a daily dose of her mommy and daddy anymore.

So, I think I'll settle in for the right now, the time that I so desperately want to rush through because it can be so tiring and frustrating sometimes, I want to just remember these precious moments. It won't be long before both Sara and Jack stop jumping into my lap, stop running to kiss and hug me each morning, stop holding my hand on purpose and without embarrassment, stop telling me 10 times a day that they love me. But for now they still do ... and I want to remember.

© Elisabeth K. Corcoran, 2001

Elisabeth K. Corcoran is the author ofCalm in My Chaos: Encouragement for a Mom's Weary Soul. This column is original and not excerpted from her book.

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Originally published August 09, 2001.