10 Reasons to Consider a Modern Rite of Passage for Your Daughter
When our sons were small, we read a wonderful book, Raising a Modern Day Knight, which was a challenge to provide passages or traditions to move a boy into manhood. We did many of these with our sons and they provided the stair steps into them all becoming godly young men.
I served 15 years as a Director of Women when Bill was a senior pastor. We remember thinking, "Why isn't there a rite of passage for Christian girls?" Little did we realize that many years later God would ask us to team with Doreen Hanna, the founder of Modern Day Princess Ministries and Focus on the Family, to create a rite of passage tool for parents and churches to use to move girls into Biblical womanhood. So why would a parent or leader consider doing a rite of passage for their daughter or the girls of their world?
1. Women Need It: Women fill counseling offices. Anything a church or organization can do to prevent or correct a pain in a young girl's heart or dysfunction in her home of origin will lower your counseling load, as well as protect each girl from poor choices made out of a broken heart.
2. Dads Want It: Many dads want to help their daughters but need some help doing it. Most fathers want to do the right thing but often are not well equipped to create a moment as meaningful as a rite-of-passage celebration on their own. The blessing of the rite-of-passage ceremony helps a dad (or father figure) know how to say what he longs to say to his daughter and provides him a comfortable and appropriate setting in which to do it.
3. Moms Long For It: Mothers are wonderful cheerleaders for their daughters and a rite of passage provides the structured yet fun opportunity many moms wish they would have had as a girl. Mothers, more than any other person in a girl's life, know the importance of marking the memorable moments on the journey into womanhood. The happy memories of heart-to-heart discussions and praying for one another can greatly deepen a mother-daughter bond. In addition, if Mom also becomes the mentor to a group of Modern-Day Princesses, a daughter can look to her mother's leadership example and role model as one to emulate.
4. Girls Love It: The girls themselves enjoy it. If a small group is formed, it becomes a way to make long-lasting, godly friends. Young women also feel more secure and confident as they learn to care for others, to recognize what a godly woman looks, acts, and dresses like, and to make wise choices in friendships and future guy-girl relationships. Finally, it equips a young woman to have a vital, growing relationship with God, and to embrace her identity in Christ and walk in a manner worthy of her royal standing.
5. Communities Crave It: A consistent, wide-spread use of a rite-of-passage program can dramatically impact a community. As young women begin to recognize their value and worth and families are drawn into the local church. It can help lower rates of pre-marital sex, teen pregnancy, abortion, prostitution, drugs, drinking, etc.
6. Families Desire It: The average family is filled with well-meaning but very busy people. A rite of passage provides a simple, easy-to-use program that is both personal yet reproducible. The entire extended family can be pulled in to participate in the celebration: older sisters, moms, aunts, and grandmothers can serve as mentors and encouragers; Dad as the giver of the blessing; and brothers, grandfathers, and uncles as modern-day knights serving to make the evening run smoothly behind the scenes.
7. Leaders Appreciate It: Directors of women's ministries, pastors and youth pastors see the value of a rite of passage as these girls grow into the young women leaders who take over leadership. Often, church leaders are looking for discipleship programs they can believe in yet easily implement in their busy schedules. In addition, a church that sponsors rite-of-passage programs, celebrations, and/or conferences will be seen in the community as a church that cares for and equips youth and prepares them to hold on to their faith when they enter college.
8. School Teachers Compliment It: A rite of passage helps create more young ladies who are easier to teach and eager to learn. Teachers yearn for students who are positive, have great relationship skills, and are good mediators in and outside the classroom, and through a rite of passage, young women can become more confident, more appreciative, and more eager to learn.
9. Community Leaders Adapt It: A motivated leader can take biblically based truths and move them into the public arena where they are most needed. In addition, community groups that proactively mentor and equip youth will be seen by leaders and community members as organizations to invest in and participate in.
10. God Anoints It: Because the Becoming a Modern-Day Princess concept is a biblically based program with Scripture and Scriptural principles woven throughout, God can place His hand of favor over the program and process. God implemented the blessing process so, of course, He would smile on it as it is used in this modern-day context to launch women into a life of wise decision making and godly living and service.
Know any potential princesses God wants you to bless?
Pam Farrel is married to Bill, and together they have penned more than 30 books including best selling Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti, and their newest, The Marriage Code. Raising a Modern Day Princess and the Princess Journal are available at www.billandpam.org
Originally published December 21, 2009.
