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10 Ways to Make Friends if You are Lonely at Church

10 Ways to Make Friends if You are Lonely at Church

Do you love going to church every Sunday but feel lonely at the same time? Sometimes it can be hard to make friends at church. Not because people aren’t friendly, but sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. It can also be hard when you are in transition between your old life and the new. You may be letting go of people from your old life while trying to find new ones to enrich your new life. Below are ten suggestions to help making friends at church a little easier.

1. Start with a smile - As cliched as it may sound, a smile can go a long way. You are more apt to speak to someone who has a smile on their face rather than someone who walks around with a frown. Take a deep breath and let your smile shine, it can truly be a natural ice breaker.

2. Join a Bible study - Do you want to learn more about the Bible and make friends? Then join a Bible study. In learning about the Bible and listening to the conversations around you, you are bound to find people that you will have things in common with.

3. Join a small group - Many churches have small groups. In these groups, people meet at someone’s house once a month, have a Bible lesson/discussion, and then light refreshments and socializing. There is no commitment to the group. If you go a few times and don’t feel like it’s a right fit, you can always try another group. This is a great way to make friends in a more casual, laid back atmosphere.

4. Volunteer in the nursery/teaching Sunday school - If you’re a parent and are looking to meet other parents, volunteer in the nursery or teach Sunday school. This is a great way for single parents to meet other single parents and for families to meet other parents as well. Still not sure? If you have children in Sunday school, ask the teacher who they play with/talk to the most and then introduce yourself to that child’s parents. If you have a baby, introduce yourself to the care givers in the nursery, they may be able to introduce you to other Moms you can make friends with.

5. Introduce yourself to a new person each week - When you arrive, introduce yourself to the morning greeter if the church has one. If you sit by someone who seems nice, introduce yourself. If it’s your first time and you think you will be staying long term, introduce yourself to your pastor on the way out. Sit in a different section of church each week and introduce yourself to someone new.

6. Ask questions - If you have questions, ask someone. This is another great ice breaker. Not only will you get answers, you will continue to meet new people. For example, by asking when the next church bake sale is, you may wind up meeting someone who has the same passion for baking that you do. More often than not, if someone doesn’t have an answer, they can point you to the person who does, making it easier to make friends along the way.

7. Get involved in church activities - This is a great way to match your interests and meet new people. If you love kids, get involved in Vacation Bible School in the summer. If you like to be around teenagers, get involved with the youth group. If you like sports, then join your church activities that include sports.

8. Donate your talents - Do you like to write or are good at graphic design? See if you can help with the church newsletter or web site. Good at landscaping and have some extra time? Volunteer to be a grounds keeper. Have an eye for interior design and decorating? Offer to coordinate decorating your church for special holidays like Christmas and Easter.

9. Join a group that coordinates with your struggle - Churches often offer groups for people with different struggles. For example, there is Celebrate Recovery for those dealing with addiction and Financial Peace University for those struggling with financial issues. Other groups that may be offered are those for people who are divorced, widowed, loss of a child, etc. This is a good way to meet other people who are struggling with the same issues you are and to get support.

10. Join a singles group - If you are young and unattached, join a singles group. Like small groups, singles groups meet at each others houses for Bible study/discussion, light snacks and socialization. They also get together to do things like go out to eat, see a movie, play sports, or volunteer at different charity events that are important to them.

Are you still nervous about meeting people? Let’s pray.

Dear Lord,
I know I’m not meant to walk in this world alone but it is hard for me to reach out to people. Please give me peace as I step out and introduce myself. Help me form strong, loving friendships with those around me. In Your name I pray. Amen.

Carrie Lowrance is an author and a freelance writer. She has been featured on Huffington Post, She Is Fierce, Bon Bon Break, Positive Fountain, etc. She is also the author of three books of poetry and one children’s book, Don’t Eat Your Boogers (You’ll Turn Green). She writes her own child care blog at

Image courtesy: ©Thinkstock/kadirdemir

Publication date: June 5, 2017