4. Recognize that Your Family Is Your Main Ministry
For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church? (1 Timothy 3:5)
You are the only dad, husband, mom, or wife that your spouse and kids will ever have. God put you in their lives because He knew you were the best person to invest in them, so it’s important to make sure you don’t shortchange them by focusing on people outside your family more.
It can be appealing to focus your efforts on helping people besides your family because they can seem more appreciative, and you don’t have to live with them 24/7.
It can be easier to put on a brave face for the people you see once a week or meet with on a regular basis, but it takes real character to be a loving servant to the people in your house who may steal your favorite snack or poop on your floor (hopefully this would be your kids, not your spouse).
“If you’re winning at work but losing at home, you’re losing.” Carey Nieuwhof
Sometimes ministry work is easier to “win” at than home life.
When our son started having behavioral challenges at home that were caused by neurological issues, our home life was so unpredictable. He could be sweet as can be one minute, then throwing things, kicking, screaming, and uncontrollable the next. We had no idea what to do, how to help him, or how to mentally handle the situation.
During that time, we both desperately worked to “win” at our jobs because we felt like it was the one area where we could succeed and actually have some control.
While there is nothing wrong with having goals and focuses outside your family, for us it became a problem when we were trying to escape from our family by constantly focusing on work issues at home. Our family life was hard, and ignoring it to focus on work felt like a good fix; but it wasn’t.
Once we realized what was happening, we had to backtrack on some bad habits we had created and some unrealistic workloads and responsibilities we had put on ourselves, and get back to our family being our top priority.
When you make your spouse and kids your highest priority (besides your relationship with God) it makes you a better leader and better example for others to follow.
Leading in ministry together with your spouse is a fun and rewarding journey. I’m so thankful for the many couples I’ve witnessed and served with that have set a strong example for my husband and I to follow and have helped us keep our both our marriage and ministry strong.
Marriage and ministry are huge blessings as well as responsibilities, but thankfully, when God calls us to both of them, He also gives us the the ability to do both well and honor Him in them.
Cortni Marrazzo is the Communication Director at ONE* Church in Spokane, WA. She and her husband Jason have two sons, one of which has special needs. She has a Degree in Biblical Discipleship and has a passion for ministry and encouraging the body of Christ. You can contact her atCortni.Marrazzo@gmail.com or on her Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/CortniMarrazzo)
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