Overcoming Pride in Marriage
By: Betsy St. Amant Haddox
But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” - James 4:6 (ESV)
Pride is easily one of the sneakier sins out there. Like a ninja, it slips into our hearts with practiced stealth and leaves a ransacked marriage in its trail. The Bible says in the book of James that God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble. It’s clear in the Word that humility is the direction we’re supposed to take as believers. And just as God gives grace to the humble, we should have hearts full of grace for our spouse.
Easier said than done, right?
Pride is incredibly unattractive, yet somehow, it’s one of the most common calamities to fall prey to. It hovers at the root of almost every sin available. It was even what caused Satan to fall from Heaven—he grew prideful and wanted to be like God. Clearly pride is a bitter, poisonous, fast-growing weed that needs to be destroyed as soon as possible.
So how can we know if pride is threatening our marriage? There are several warning signs that are easily recognized if you know where to look. For example, consider the following: Are you addicted to attention? Do you refuse to be taught anything by your spouse? Does the thought of submission to your husband prickle the hair on the back of your neck? Do you find it almost impossible to apologize to your wife? Do you often refuse to ask for help? Is it difficult to even try to see your spouse’s point of view in an argument?
If so, these are flapping red flags of danger.
Philippians 2:3 (ESV) tells us to “do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” It seems the cure for pride is humility. So, ask the Lord today to give you a humble heart toward your spouse. The next time an argument flares up, remember to kill the weed. Swallow back your initial bitter reaction and ask the Holy Spirit to help you have a humble heart before you speak. This doesn’t mean being a doormat or never expressing yourself. It simply means to check your heart for potential pride lurking in the shadows. Remember, it takes two to argue. While you can’t change your spouse, you can—with the help of the Holy Spirit—change your own thought patterns and assumptions. The more you move toward a heart of humility, the more likely your spouse will follow.
Betsy St. Amant Haddox is the author of over sixteen inspirational romance novels and novellas. She resides in north Louisiana with her drummer of a hubby, two story-telling young daughters, a collection of Austen novels, and an impressive stash of pickle chips. Betsy has a B.A. in Communications and a deep-rooted passion for seeing women restored in Christ. When she's not composing her next book or trying to prove unicorns are real, Betsy can usually be found somewhere in the vicinity of a white-chocolate mocha. Visit her and see a list of books at http://www.betsystamant.com./
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