<< Crosswalk Couples Devotional

Build a Marriage Marked by Honesty - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - August 15

  • 2022 Aug 15

Build a Marriage Marked by Honesty
By: Betsy St. Amant Haddox

Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight. - Proverbs 12:22 (ESV)

Marriage can often feel like a minefield—or at best, a delicate balancing act on a tight rope. If we lean too far in the “tell our spouse everything” direction, we lose our balance. After all, they don’t need to know every move we make all day long. But if we lean too far in the “don’t tell our spouse anything” direction, we also risk falling.

lying lips

This is the tightrope where lies become increasingly burdensome. It might help to remember that lies of omission are still lies and “little white lies,” are still lies. The Bible couldn’t be clearer on its command to be honest. Proverbs 12 points out that lying is an abomination to the Lord. And 1 Peter is clear on the benefits that come with being honest.

1 Peter 3:10 (ESV) Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.

Good days come from telling the truth—including telling the truth to our spouses. This is a requirement of believers—but certainly not an easy one. If it was, we wouldn’t have Psalms like Psalm 120.

Psalm 120:2 (ESV) Deliver me, O Lord, from lying lips, from a deceitful tongue. Even the Bible heroes of old struggled with lies—including King David. The point isn’t to dwell on the fact that we’re tempted or to beat ourselves up when we fail, but to make strides toward being honest in all things with our spouse.

Areas in Marriage Where Subtle Lies Sneak In

You might be thinking this isn’t an area in which you struggle. You might think you have no problem being honest with your spouse. But what about in the more subtle areas? What about in being honest with things that make you look bad or weak? Things such as admitting to rough days, anxiety struggles, spiritual warfare attacks, etc.

Sometimes we’re guilty of withholding information from our spouse in fear that they might look down on us or judge us. We then tend to muscle through on our own in order not to wobble on the pedestal we hope they have us standing on. This is understandable, but detrimental to intimacy in marriage. Next time you feel the temptation to hide from your spouse, risk being vulnerable. Ask for prayer. Take the opportunity to grow together in trust.

When the Stakes Get Bigger

There are occasionally bigger things that come up that we need to be honest with our spouse about, too. Things such as lust. Did you fall to the temptation of pornography? Did you lust after the deliveryman at work? Does a person at the gym keep catching your eye? Tell your spouse! Bring that sin into the light before your husband or wife so you can kill it together.

Did you spend more money than you agreed to? Own up to it. Did you break a diet you were on together and try to hide the candy bar wrapper in the outside trash can? ‘Fess up. Lies feed upon lies, so if you start telling the truth immediately, you won’t get tangled up in out-of-control vines.

Honesty is always the best policy, even when it hurts. The darkness can’t strive in the light, and nothing shines brighter than telling the truth. Take 1 Peter 3:10 to heart, and aim for the good days together!

Betsy St. Amant Haddox is the author of over sixteen inspirational romance novels and novellas. She resides in north Louisiana with her drummer of a hubby, two story-telling young daughters, a collection of Austen novels, and an impressive stash of pickle chips. Betsy has a B.A. in Communications and a deep-rooted passion for seeing women restored in Christ. When she's not composing her next book or trying to prove unicorns are real, Betsy can usually be found somewhere in the vicinity of a white-chocolate mocha. Visit her and see a list of books at http://www.betsystamant.com./

Listen to our chart-topping, FREE family podcast - Famous at Home!

The Famous at Home Podcast artworkWe live in a society that conditions us with a deep desire to be famous, well-spoken of, and admired. Yet, it’s our family that often get our leftovers. Your biggest fans already live under your roof. You'll never be more famous anywhere than you are at home.   

At Famous at Home, Dr. Josh and Christi Straub help you put a plan in place to make the most of the time with your family and learn to harness the power of emotion for deep relational connection with your biggest fans. 

Each week, Josh and Christi host the Famous at Home Podcast (amassing more than 2.5 million downloads) to help you focus on what matters most in your family.

Listen below to one of Josh and Christi's most popular episodes on simplifying family life:

More Crosswalk Couples Devotional Articles

Follow Crosswalk.com