Shame Stops Here
By Savannah Parvu
Friday, September 1, 2017
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2 NIV
Because we live in a fallen world we experience things in life we weren’t meant to experience. Many difficult situations occur that we have no control over.
Losing a loved one, being a victim of domestic violence, rape, robbery, neglect, abuse, human trafficking, past addictions, mental illness, etc., can cause various effects and leave many feeling shame that doesn’t belong to us.
Shame has the ability to prevent us from reaching our full potential. Many of us cover the broken areas of our lives because there are so many stigmas that make us feel there’s something wrong with us and we’re not good enough.
We become afraid to let people see who we really are, especially people in church, but this only causes pain.
I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, neglect and human trafficking. Experiencing such traumatic events left me struggling to cope with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and severe anxiety. When I started going to church I felt as if most people never struggled with anything.
I never talked about the things that happened to me or the things I struggled with as a result of the trauma because I was ashamed.
Once I surrendered my life to the Lord I expected Him to heal me right away so I could be like the other people at church, but He didn’t. He began healing some areas of my life, but I still struggled. I struggled alone.
Eventually I began to feel as though something were wrong with me. I felt as though I was the only Christian that struggled with anxiety, depression and self-harm.
I remember reading the scripture above one morning and feeling as though I wasn’t the only in my struggle. It was a reminder that things will happen and difficult times with come. We will struggle at times, but God will always be there to help us.
I continued to trust God and held onto His promise that He would never leave me or forsake me. In time He began to heal my deepest wounds. He began stripping me of the shame I carried due to past abuse.
He helped me overcome my 10-year self-harm addiction and He allowed me to begin speaking publicly about the things that happened.
Once I began speaking about being a survivor of human trafficking and what I struggled with as a result of the abuse, other people started coming forward and sharing with me their past abuse and/or struggles they were too ashamed to talk about.
I’ve learned many of us are afraid to be real with one another because we think we should be better than we are. We have unrealistic expectations for ourselves and in doing that we sometimes have unrealistic expectations for God.
No matter what has happened to us or what will happen to us, God is not going to leave us. He wants us to go to Him with our troubles so He can help us. He may not heal us immediately or overnight, but if we trust Him He can heal us in more ways than we thought possible.
It took years of trusting God and allowing Him to work in my life, for me to get to where I am today. He’s done it for me and He can do it for you!
Take time today to examine your life and your relationships. Are you covering up who you are because of shame? If so, ask God to help you work through that shame.
Dear Lord, Thank You for never leaving us nor forsaking us. Thank You for never leaving us the same way You find us. Help us work through the shame we carry around that causes us to walk around masking who we really are. We trust You, Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
© 2017 by Savannah Parvu. All rights reserved.
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