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Can You Love Your Husband and Brad Pitt Too? - Girlfriends in God - February 24, 2014

February 24, 2014
Can You Love Your Husband and Brad Pitt Too?
Sharon Jaynes

(If you are single, you’re not off the hook here. Keep reading.)

Today’s Truth

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23, NIV).

Friend to Friend

Sitting in a waiting room, I rummaged through stacks of magazines to pass the time. A magazine for families, I thought as I picked up a popular title. That ought to be safe.

Thumbing through the pages, I went directly to the “Family Matters” column to see what the culture was teaching these days. The title? “Why You Can Love Your Husband and Brad Pitt Too.” I turned back to the cover to make sure I had not inadvertently picked up Cosmopolitan or National Enquirer. Nope, it was a magazine for families—targeted at wives and mothers. 

This is some of what the author had to say:

Last spring I found myself applying a pretty shade of pink lipstick before heading off to the nursery to buy annuals. Why the fuss? I hoped to run into the handsome gentleman who worked there…According to experts, married crushes are natural and common. As long as you don’t let them develop into full-blown fantasies or consider acting upon them, these minor attractions can actually help you appreciate your spouse more…Infatuations offer a safe break from the marital routine. Everyday life is a bit humdrum, making it hard to maintain a passionate connection all the time…

Everything about this article was 50 shades of wrong, and it raise the hackles on my back thinking that women sitting in waiting rooms everywhere were reading it.

Here’s what another marriage expert has to say about infatuation with the delivery boy, flirting with the attendant at the nursery, or cattily toying with a coworker in the next cubicle.  

 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:27-28 NIV).

Looking at another man with a flirtatious eye is such a serious offense that Jesus went on to say, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away…If your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away” (Matthew 5:29-30 NIV).

Now, don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you to pluck out your eye if you do have a crush on the buff young man who bags your produce at the grocery store, but I am saying that you might need to pluck it out by shopping elsewhere.

I am saying that if you find yourself adding a bit of lipgloss before heading to the post office where the cute blond with the steel blue eyes always greets you like you’ve made his day, you need to pluck it out—forget the gloss and go to another post office. And that man in the next cubicle who always showers you with compliments and makes your heart skip a beat? I am saying that you need to pluck it out—change cubicles, or even more drastic, change jobs. 

Perhaps you think I’ve gone just a bit too far. I imagine the folks listening to Jesus’ advice about running from temptation thought so too. The truth is, I’ve never known one woman who had an affair which did not begin with a toying glance or flirtatious “innocent” bantering. Every sin begins with a thought and every spiritual battle is won or lost at the threshold of the mind.

Let’s face it, women long to feel beautiful. After being married for a few years and having a baby or two, we begin to wonder if we are still pretty or sexually appealing. Then a man comes along who pays us a compliment and our hearts skip a beat. That is natural. However, if that compliment or attention leads to infatuation, returning for more, or a “crush” as the article implied, Jesus tells us to turn and run in the opposite direction…press the delete button…and avoid reply. “Flee sexual immorality,” (1 Corinthians 6:18). This is serious…pluck it out.

It is interesting that when Satan tempted Eve in the Garden, the first step to her downfall was her eyes. “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye.” (Genesis 3:6). It all began with her eyes…what she looked at. I wonder what would have happened if she had chosen to look away.

The above article had very little to do with Brad Pitt or Mel Gibson, but more to say about men we come in contact with everyday. Honestly, had it been Brad or Mel, I might have had a chuckle. But this article was encouraging women to play with fire. The author went on to say…

Whether you have a soft spot for Mel Gibson or Mel the mailman, make sure your husband knows that a crush doesn’t change the way you feel about him. We all want to know that we are number one in our spouse’s life. As for me, I told my husband about the man at the nursery. ‘Going to see your boyfriend?’ he teased as I headed out the door to buy mulch. Later I assured him that while Garden Guy knew the best cure for aphids, he could never melt my heart.

I read that and tried to imagine my husband, Steve, saying to me…”Honey, I want to tell you that I have a crush on the check-out girl at Home Depot, but I still love you the best.” I get a queasy feeling just thinking about such a conversation. And yet, this is what the “family magazine” was suggesting.

But what if you are single? Does this apply to you? Absolutely! The enemy would like nothing better than for you, in your singleness, to fantasize about a man that you come in contact with on a regular basis. He would like for your mind to go where it need not go. He knows that singleness can be a lonely place and he is an equal opportunity tempter.

Bottom line? “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life,” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV). The heart of the matter is the matter of the heart.

Let’s Pray

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to guard my heart today and every day. Help me to recognize temptation and flee–run in the opposite direction. I know that temptation is not a toy to be played with, but an evil weapon used against us. Thank You for giving me the power of the Holy Spirit to resist temptation and the power of the Truth in Scripture to fight the lies that “I would be happy if...”

In Jesus’ Name,


Now It’s Your Turn

Is there any area in your life where you are toying with temptation?

If you are single, have you been entertaining a relationship that would not be pleasing to God?

Go back and print off today’s devotion. Highlight the various verses and commit them to memory. Make them part of your arsenal to resist temptation.

What are some ways that we can resist temptation? Let’s share at

More from the Girlfriends

Today’s devotion was adapted from Sharon’s book, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams: Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For. If you would like to learn more about how to have a wonderful marriage, this book is for you. And, if you would like to learn more about how to resist the lies of the enemy in every area of life, you’ll want to see Sharon’s book, I’m Not Good Enough…and Other Lies Women Tell Themselves. When it comes to spiritual warfare, let’s be armed and dangerous to the enemy’s lies.

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