January 8, 2015
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:14, NIV).
Friend to Friend
After meeting Robert, Mama did not say a word. The look in her eyes told me that she was not happy.
Evidently, Robert had not measured up to whatever obsolete standard she had in mind. When I asked her what she thought of him, she smiled and said nothing.
Nothing? How could she not see what was so very obvious to me – that Robert was absolutely flawless, and that we were going to be so happy. Together we would change the world!
I would show her.
I would pray about it and let God deal with Mama.
I started praying about my relationship with Robert and off-handedly tossed out a prayer asking God to close the door if Robert was not the right one for me. Never in a million years did I expect God to do just that. But He did. With a resounding crash, God slammed that door shut, locked it and totally obliterated my perfect life plan.
What in the world was going on? It made no sense – to me.
Before that summer mission trip when Robert and I met, he dated a girl for several years. He assured me their relationship was over and I believed him – until she came to town and I never saw him again.
I was crushed. I had been so sure. I poured out my heart to Mama who listened quietly until I ran out of words and tears. She then took my face in her precious hands and simply said, “The first time I met Robert I knew he was all wrong for you.”
What in the world was she talking about? I could not believe my ears. I stared at her in stunned silence.
Sensing a rare teachable moment in her not-so-teachable daughter’s heart, she went on. “The truth is that he is not good enough for you.” I chalked those words up to one of those things a mother is supposed to say when her daughter has just been dumped by the most amazing catch of the century.
Mama saw the doubt in my eyes and said, “Honey, if I could buy that boy for what he’s really worth, and sell him for what he thinks he’s worth, I would be a millionaire!”
I can count on both hands – with fingers left over – the number of times I ever heard Mama say an unkind word. But she evidently felt the occasion warranted her brutally honest opinion. With the proficiency of a seasoned lawyer, Mama began to skillfully and accurately lay out her case against Robert. I was in the presence of greatness.
“Honey, he is not a true man of God right now. He may be some day, but he surely isn’t yet. And you deserve better.” She was right. I did. I just didn’t believe it.
I worked hard at presenting the right image. I wanted people to see me as a confident, spiritually have-it-all-together kind of person, but the truth was that I had spent my whole life struggling to believe God really loved me – just like I was.
I could not grasp the truth that I was created by God – for God. To think that God wanted an intimate relationship with me outside of my good works was totally beyond my comprehension. So when someone like Robert came into my life, he immediately became the living proof I so desperately craved - proof that I was worth something. Guys like him didn’t look at girls like me. I was certainly not beautiful. I was overweight and insecure. I was simply not good enough. I had allowed the sin of inferiority to rule my life.
Pride and inferiority are the opposite sides of the same coin - a preoccupation with self. And both are sin.
I spent so many years, so much time, and bucket loads of energy trying to be good enough. I followed all of the rules, hoping to please the Ruler. I said and did all of the right things in front of all the right people in a desperate attempt to persuade them that I was right.
I was running the race of life for the wrong audience until God shut the door, turned off the lights and said, “Daughter, that is enough.” And then I spent two years in a deep, dark pit of clinical depression where I learned what it really means to rest in the Lord. I learned how to simply be instead of frantically doing.
It was a precious time – and a hellish time. And I would not trade one minute of the pain for what I learned. Don’t miss my next devotion for the lessons I learned while sitting at the feet of Jesus.
Father, I praise You because I am made in Your image. Please help me to live my life on the basis of that truth - and not on the lies of the world. Thank You for a mother who loved me in such a beautiful way and modeled the very definition of humility. Help me honor You like she did.
In Jesus’ name,
Now It’s Your Turn
Here is your assignment for the week. Read Psalm 139:13-18 each day. In your journal, write each verse in your own words. At the end of the week, set aside time to celebrate who you are in Christ.
More from the Girlfriends
Have you ever wondered why you were even born? Do feelings of insecurity plague your life? In His Eyes will lead you to discover your "God image" and become the woman God created you to be.
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 1311
Huntersville, NC 28070
Click here to learn more about hosting a Girlfriends in God conference in your area or having one of the GiGs speak at your next women's event.