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No More Debbie Downer - Girlfriends in God - February 17, 2016

February 17, 2016
No More Debbie Downer
Sharon Jaynes

Today’s Truth

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 18:24 ESV).

Friend to Friend

Martha was also frustrated with her marriage. She had dreams of marrying her knight in shining armor who would leave flower petals on her pillow, be distracted by her beauty, and regularly pledge his undying love. She dreamed of having three doting, obedient, well-mannered children that she could dress up in cute little outfits and parade down the church aisle on Sundays. Her tidy home would come with a well-manicured lawn, two- and-a-half baths, and perfectly coordinated décor. She would be the happy homemaker who joyfully mopped the beautiful kitchen floor in her size six khaki slacks, shabby chic blouse, and stylish haircut. She could almost picture Mr. Clean winking at her from the corner of the room, giving his hearty approval.

But life had not turned out like Martha expected. Her knight did come along, but his armor began to tarnish soon after they said, “I do.” He left his smelly socks on the floor, had a love affair with the TV remote, and hardly noticed all the work she did to keep the house clean and orderly.

Life sure has not turned out the way I thought it would, she thought.I am bored and unappreciated. Romance, that’s what I want. This man wouldn’t know romance if it hit him in the face. Why should I care how I look? He doesn’t care about his appearance. Look at that gut. He complains about me gaining weight? Well, he hasn’t seen nothin’ yet. I’ve made a huge mistake. I just want someone who will love me and appreciate me. Is that too much to ask?

And the kids? They never do what I ask. They’re disobedient, loud, and messy. I don’t know when I’ve seen a clean floor last, and I’m sure not happy while mopping. And where is Mr. Clean anyway?

The enemy had slowly crept in while Martha was unaware. Unmet expectations became the breeding ground for the lies to grow. He planted the seeds of discontentment one disappointment at a time. Rather than thinking how she could make her marriage better, she began to think how she could get out of it. Rather than enjoying her rambunctious children, she loathed their energy. Rather than being thankful that she had a home and family to clean up after, she complained about the dirt.

Martha just needs to give her life to Jesus, you might say. But she has. She is a Christian, so on top of her disappointment with life, she adds guilt to it all. I’m a bad Christian, she thinks. If I were a better Christian, I’d be happy. What’s wrong with me?

The enemy’s trademark is stamped on this woman’s thought life. He has taken her down a road of stinkin’ thinkin’. While she assumes that these thoughts are her own, it is the enemy who makes the suggestions. She simply buys into them and makes them her own. They become her own version of reality—her own version of the truth. But it is not God’s truth. When we know the truth, the lies stick out like a two-ton elephant in a herd of sheep.

Maybe you can relate to Martha’s story. Hopefully you can’t. But even if your story isn’t the same, the enemy is. He will take your disappointments in any area of life and try to stir up trouble. Your job. Your friendships. Your church. You name it. All is fair game when it comes to the deceivers attempts to suck the joy right out of you.

How do we move past being a Debbie Downer? There are many ways! Here are a few.

Live a life of gratitude. Praise God that you have a floor to clean when so many don’t. Praise God for the opportunity to learn about how to love sacrificially when you feel your husband is aloof. Praise God that you have a job in an economy where so many don’t.

Examine your thought life. Take note of how many of your thoughts are negative and make a decision to give them a positive twist. Evaluate how many of your thoughts are negative and stop it! Make new positive ruts in your brain and stop driving those negative thoughts through the ditches to make them deeper.

Dwell on the promises of God. Make a list of the promises of God. I can’t think of anything better to change negative thinking into positive thinking than a heaping dose of powerful promises.

These are just a few. But they are a start!

Now, will you join me? If so, click over to my Facebook page and say, I’m getting rid of stinkin’ thinkin’ today!

Let’s Pray

Father, my thought life is a mess. I dwell on the negative and don’t even see the positive. Help me to turn that around. Help me be a woman who dwells on the positive and lets the negative roll off her back like water on a duck’s feathers. I start right now by thanking You for another day of life!

In Jesus’ Name,


Now It’s Your Turn

List five negatives in your life right now.

Now go back and write five positive ways to look at each of those situations.

Here’s a thought. Paul was in prison when he wrote most of the New Testament letters. That was a negative situation, but he saw it as a great time to pull out the pen and ink! What a positive spin on a negative situation. I want to be like him. Don’t you?

More From the Girlfriends


You’ve heard the lies before. Maybe even whispered one or two to yourself from time to time. Maybe repeated them so often you’ve started to believe them. “Nobody loves me. I’m worthless. I would be happier married to someone else. I’m just not good enough.” The list goes on. It’s time to recognize the enemy’s lies and to replace those lies with the Bible’s liberating truth. It’s time to renew your mind and think God’s thought rather than be held in bondage by the enemy’s deceptions. It’s time to be set free to see yourself as God see you: His holy, chosen, cleansed, forgiven and dearly loved child. Now that’s a truth worth repeating. To learn more, check out my book, I’m Not Good Enough...and Other Lies Women Tell Themselves. It’s a game changer!


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