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"The Sandpaper People are Coming!" - Girlfriends in God - Nov. 23, 2010

November 23, 2010 

The Sandpaper People are Coming! 

Mary Southerland 

Today's Truth
Luke 6:27-28 "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."

Friend to Friend
I sometimes think that the holiday season should somehow come with a warning label that reads, "The Sandpaper People are coming!" The holidays usher in many things - one of which is the opportunity to deal with the difficult people in our life. That relative that irritated you last Thanksgiving may very well do the same thing this year. Get ready to deal with your sandpaper people - the people who rub you the wrong way.  

God created us with the capacity for strong emotions and like any gift from God our emotions can be used for good or misused for bad. Sandpaper people not only have an uncanny knack for knowing where emotional buttons are located, they honestly think it is their purpose in life to push every single one of them. Our first reaction to the incessant and calculated button pushing of a sandpaper person is usually angry retaliation while God calls us to a peaceful resolution. When it comes to difficult relationships, God does not want or expect us to declare war. We are to control our emotions instead of allowing them to control us. The Apostle Paul writes in Romans 12:18, "As much as is possible, live peaceably with all men." In other words, we need to set our mind on peace - not winning.     

God's wants us to wage peace in every relationship - including the roughest, most abrasive, anger producing sandpaper people who come our way. A formidable task, since every sandpaper person I have ever known comes complete with a set agenda that targets emotional eruptions and creates constant relationships upheavals. They love a good fight, live to evoke angry reactions and are fierce warriors determined to win every battle initiated by their downright irritating personalities. However, combat is impossible when the enemy has laid down his weapons and chosen peace. 

As I headed to the grocery store for my dreaded weekly shopping trip, I wrestled with my attitude. You have to understand that I absolutely hate grocery shopping but on this particular morning, I vowed to choose joy and turned my focus to the balmy Florida day before me. I had it all under control - until I pulled into the grocery store parking lot. 

It seemed like every South Florida resident was in that parking lot frantically searching for a parking space - and they were not happy. After circling several times, I spotted an empty spot right by the entrance. God does answer prayer. I made a beeline for "my" parking space. Just as I turned to pull in, an older lady boldly stepped into that prized space and with great ceremony, held up her left hand, signaling me to stop right where I was. With her right hand, this self-imposed traffic director began motioning to a man I assumed was her husband as he circled the parking lot in his very large car. I suddenly realized that she was saving "my" spot for him. Of all the nerve! What incredible gall!

Parking spaces are a serious matter to me. Evidently, I was not the only one who felt that way. In the midst of my simmering, soon-to-explode anger, this still small voice reminded me that I had a choice to make. I really hated surrendering my anger to God, but the thought of apologizing to that woman for running over her with my car was more than my mind could conceive and my stomach could handle. I quickly decided that if she was willing to risk her life for a grocery store parking space, she deserved to have it.

Unfortunately, the driver behind me did not agree and whipped her car into the sought after space just in front of the man in his large car, barely missing the traffic controlling woman as she frantically jumped up on the sidewalk, out of the car's path. I decided to watch the scene unfold - or explode. Crude gestures and loud, repulsive words filled the air. Some I understood. Some I had never heard and did not care to define. Threats were exchanged along with promises of retribution.

The whole experience was an ugly reminder that we live in a world filled with angry people who are constantly rubbing each other the wrong way. Sandpaper people.  And while it is true that everyone gets angry from time to time, it is just as true that everyone can learn to effectively control and manage his or her anger. When dealing with a sandpaper person, we must not allow ourselves to become the enemy. As you get ready for Thanksgiving Day, remember to prepare your heart as well to love the hard-to-love people that come your way.

Let's Pray

Father, I am so thankful that You love me - rough edges and all. Please help me to love others in the same way.

In Jesus' name,


Now it's Your Turn

Who are the difficult people in your life?

In what way(s) do they irritate you?

What can you do to avoid a difficult situation with the sandpaper people in your life?

Ask God to let you see those difficult people as He sees them - through eyes of love.

Pray for each person and ask God to bless them.

More from the Girlfriends

I can almost hear you saying "What? I'm supposed to ask God to bless this person who is so hard to love?" Yes. Luke 6:28 tells us that we are to bless those who curse us and pray for those who mistreat us. God always honors obedience.

Check out these two new resources now available in Mary's online store:

NEW E-Bible Study:  Take this Job and Love It!

NEW CD:  Divine Surprises

Join women from across the world in Mary's Online Bible Study, Light for the Journey. Don't miss her new study beginning November 29, The Secret of a Merry Christmas. If you enroll now, you will also have access to all of the 2010 studies. But hurry! This offer ends December 1. 

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