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Who is your Kuleana? - Girlfriends in God - Apr. 26, 2013

April 26, 2013
Who is your Kuleana?
Pam Farrel

From time-to-time, the Friday devotions will be written by one of our friends in ministry. We call them our "Friday Friends." So grab your Bible and a fresh cup of coffee and drink in the words from our "Friday Friend," Pam Farrel. Pam and Bill Farrel are relationship experts and best-selling authors of over 37 books including Men Are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti, and their newest devotional, A Couple’s Journey With God. Free resources by the Farrels can be found at

Today’s Truth

“We proclaim to you what we have seen and heard, so that you also may have fellowship with us. And our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son, Jesus Christ.” (1 John 1:3)

Friend to Friend

In our newest book, A Couple’s Journey with God devotional, we share how, on a ministry trip to the islands, we learned a vital island phrase. In the Hawaiian language there is a term, “Kuleana,” which means your “path” or your “posse,” those people for whom and to whom you are responsible. It is your accountability system. We like to call it your successnet. Picture walking the tightrope of life - these are the people who are carrying the net under you in case you fall. They include family who really know you, friends who walk beside you, your children and grandchildren and anyone who looks up to you. Also included are any mentors or leaders who have poured into you. And it definitely includes your spouse.

A smart couple will have a large Kuleana, and a Kuleana with whom they can be real, honest and authentic. Some call this kind of honest fellowship an accountability system. While the Bible doesn’t use the exact word “accountability,” it does use some words that give the strong idea that God thinks accountability is vital. Fellowship or Koinonia means an association based upon a common bond, with willing participation and sharing. True fellowship involves authenticity, which can involve two key words:

Exhortation: “called alongside to bring out the best in another.”

Admonish“to put in mind” and carries the idea of putting the right thoughts into the minds of others

So it seems God wants us all to have a group or a fellowship of people we walk alongside, and who walk alongside us. And while we are journeying together, we are to put the right thoughts into each other’s minds. 

Many people ask Bill and me what the strength of our relationship is, and we have to say we are Kuleana to each other first. We honestly share when we are struggling with something. Too many people keep hidden sins, negative thoughts, and unresolved feelings from their spouse—sometimes even with good intentions like “I don’t want to hurt him or her.” While we always think it is wise to talk to God first, then whomever God directs you to get counsel from, often your mate can be one of the best people to use as a sounding board in a struggle because he or she knows you best.

Bill and I are responsible to each other in so many areas: how we spend (or save) money, what we watch on TV or listen to or read, how we raise our children, and all our spiritual disciplines: prayer, Bible study, exercise, using our gifts, worship, and yes, the Koinonia or Kuleana of building a success net together. Because we talk honestly about what God is teaching us, what the Holy Spirit is convicting us to do or say, or how God wants us to better reflect his glory; we are drawn to each other like magnets.

When we were single, our entire Kuleana or Koinonia friendship circle would greet each other with, “Hi! How are you? What’s God been teaching you?” Just asking that question was true Kuleana because it meant we were responsible for learning something from God daily in order to have an answer for that question. Bill and I continue this habit in our own private spiritual lives today.

Look for opportunities to have heart-to-heart talks with each person in your Kuleana. Today, take a walk with your mate or best Girlfriend in God, or sit down for some “Kona” coffee and ask, “So what’s God been teaching you?” and have some Kuleana.

Let’s Pray

Lord, let me be the kind of mom, wife, or friend that is authentic and honest with my Kuleana. Help me be a woman who walks alongside others putting right thoughts into other’s hearts and lives.

In Jesus’s name,


Now It’s Your Turn

Who are those people that form your Kulenana? Who are your responsible for? Who are you responsible to? What positive steps can you take today to build into your Kuleana??

More from the Girlfriends

Before we can trust others, we must learn to trust God, and that can sometimes be hard. Need help? Order a copy of our GiG book, Trusting God, A Girlfriends in God Faith Adventure. This is the perfect book for individual study or for gathering a group of friends in what we call GiG Groups. With impactful devotions, study questions, journal pages, free on-line video intros, and an index of trust-building Scriptures, this book is a resource you’ll refer to time-and-time again.

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Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106

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