A Little Help, Please?
by Sherri Oehme
Last night, my husband and I settled into the couch cushions for movie night—my pick. (I oblige him with the occasional Fast & Furious… they’re on sequel 34 now, right?)
In the romance flick, a vineyard owner and a winemaker partnered for the upcoming town wine festival. (The producers had to ditch the Christmas tree farm for now.)
The couple divided work according to their skills.
She shined in making the wine, while he cared for the vines. Each held tight to their own responsibility.
Until … her wine wasn’t going to mature in time. And his vines were dying from an experimental chemical application.
We do this in marriage too.
Often, we divide the work according to what culture dictates or by skill set, then hold our jobs close—even during difficulties—because admitting problems might make us appear weak or incompetent.
Pride? Yeah. But like in the movie, your partner might hold the golden key to all your problems.
First Corinthians 12:21 says, “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you,’’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’”
Simply put, we need each other. Verse 26 sums it up: “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.”
So let’s stop keeping secret failures from one another, and instead, ask for help.
“I went too far with disciplining our son today. Can you help me make it right?”
“I had a run-in with [insert coworker} this morning. I’ve been stewing about it all day. Can you help me process?”
“I didn’t get the gas bill paid on time and now we’ve got a threatening letter that they’re going to turn it off. Can you call them?”
Working together through the difficult times helps you both win. Communication and trust are keys to a great marriage, so put away the pride and ask for help.
The good stuff: Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)
Action points: Ask your spouse what their day looks like before they walk out the door each morning. Then, offer a “How can I be in your corner today?”
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